Monday Meltdown

Well the old me would have had a meltdown, at least internally.  Boiling over with frustration and stress.

Current me was just very annoyed.

It started out with almost no sleep last night.  I guess it was tea I drank at dinner with mom.  Who knows.

Then early this morning someone in my staff punted an angry phone call to me.  1.5 hours later, I was finally done.

Then off to the Dr.  Rushed down to South Austin, car riding on fumes.  Waited almost 2 hours to be seen.  My labs we were reviewing for the wrong part of my cycle.  I told her I didn’t know she was testing for that.  Apparently she wasn’t.  The front desk sent the lab the wrong slip.  So thank goodness insurance paid for most of the really expensive useless tests.

She said my thyroid is fine.  She wants to test me in 2 months when I’ve had a chance to try the Naturethroid that apparently her boss changed me to without her knowledge.  Her boss that I’ve never seen.  And no, I didn’t spell that wrong, that’s the weird way they spell it.

She said i’m shedding because it’s that time of year and I am not hyper.

As far as the weight, she told me it’s because i’m old.  That I need to shock my body by throwing it something new.  Something I suck at.  I currently suck at running, but apparently that’s not enough.  She suggested stairmill (which I do already) and rowing.  I am certainly not good at any one thing right now (except being tired of the extra pounds).   I am going to take her up on this and see if it makes a difference.  I don’t have anything to lose (except the parts that don’t fit in my clothes).  It was NOT hard before, I think that is what makes this so much more frustrating.  Well actually I think it’s because I gained in the first place.

And before you roll your eyes, I don’t care what anyone thinks or how much I weigh.  I want to fit into my old clothes, end of story, no matter what scale number that is.  I am 2 sizes bigger than I want to be.  I want to be fit and healthy again.

On the upside, someone thinks I’m smoking hot the way I am.  :-)

Fun Facts Friday

  • I worked out every day last week.  I worked out 1 day this week so far.  I pushed myself too hard Saturday without enough prep and I severely dehydrated myself.   Lesson learned.  I went to bed super early last night.
  • I am getting ready to travel a lot. I love being in my element and I wish it was 12 months out of the year and not just 2ish.
  • I am probably going to work my Christmas job again.  It ain’t in it for the money, that’s for sure.
  • I am watching Nashville right now, which I am glad is back on.  Sometimes I see some of my own life in the show.  Same with Modern Family. I don’t watch much tv but I do know my life is nothing like Sons of Anarchy, thank goodness!
  • I want to start doing some updating on my house, I have no idea where to start, but I do know exterior painting is high priority and i’m not doing it myself.  Of course the prices i’ve gotten so far aren’t pretty.
  • I finally finished decorating my bedroom.  Dad helped me hang my big art last weekend when he was here.
  • LUNA team got extended an extra year :-)
  • speaking of bedrooms I decided to get a roommate.  EEEK!  I have never lived with just one other girl who wasn’t my sister.  My 1st year away at school I had 3 girl roomies.  I hope it all goes well.
  •  I woke up in a sweaty panic last night, which is never a good feeling.  I’ve been very upset about some stuff lately.
  • I have a trip at the end of October that I am really looking forward to.  Hoping I am not going alone.  Even if I do, it’ll be still be great, but it just won’t be the same.
  • I miss artists like Peter Dawson, Dub Miller, and Cross Canadian Ragweed (currently listening to Peter Dawson-Coupland Live.  Elisabeth’s song is one of my favorites of his, it’s makes me happy).
  • Elisabeth’s song reminds me of ODB.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Ay Ay Ay!

The last week has been a blur.

Friday-helped mom finish sister’s birthday shopping.  Cooked parents dinner at sister’s house.  Made her GF magic bar cupcakes.

Saturday-relay race.  I got severely dehydrated and ran pretty dang slow.  Then stupid me didn’t drink up until 2 pm.  Went out for sister’s birthday.

Sunday-my shoulders were so sore I couldn’t move, guessing it was from my dehydration.  I went to the gym but couldn’t do much of anything.

Monday-Wednesday-blur.  Work was super busy.  I tried to run Tuesday but only had time for 2 miles, which was brutal.  Started getting in a funk this morning and I can see it lasting for the next week.  I keep fighting it, but can’t shake it.  My heart is hurting pretty badly right now.  I know how to make it better, but I don’t see that happening.  That hurts even more. I want to magically fix everything and to live happily (most of the time) ever after.  I want my fairy tale damn it!

Never heard back from Dr. L, which makes me sad.  I have no idea what to do now.  I can’t wait 2 more months to see him and keep buying stuff that may not be helping me.  May be trying my mom’s Dr. in SA soon.

I am probably not renewing my domain in a few weeks, so it may be back to https://melissadishes.wordpress.com.  Will keep you posted.

Things I like Thursday

Today was an ODD day.

I couldn’t sleep, but lied it bed past gym time, so I got ready for work instead.  Getting to work that early is beneficial because it’s quiet, but that’s about it.  I have staff that come in at 7, so I NEVER have quiet (i’m sure my boss says the same about me!)

things I enjoyed today:

  • it finally started raining at 7 pm.  Not much but it’s something
  • yummy dinner.  Sundried tomato pesto whitefish and green beans.  Pumpkin for dessert
  • spicy sausage links
  • lying on the couch reading (I need to do this more)
  • a highly productive day at work
  • a lunch time workout
  • knowing I can watch 1 part of tonight’s concert live
  • seeing silly pictures of someone
  • a cool house!  Thank goodness my AC was an easy fix
  • kitty cuddles
  • having someone to cry over, even though the reason I was crying was NOT good.
  • having someone to check on me all day, even though they were swamped and overloaded. Today was no different than usual really with the thoughtfulness
  • Pandora picking bad ass songs

Anticipation

I had been looking forward to today for FOREVER.  Time off from work for 1.5 days, a road trip, seeing old friends, and 2 bands together for the PERFECT show.  Getting down with the rock bands

Things fell apart Wednesday, which was pretty shocking to me.  I am not going to go into details, I’m not going to trash talk anyone and I never will.  But some hurtful things happened with people I thought were my friends.    I guess I am just way too optimistic when it comes to certain things.

So I decided it would be best if I did not go.  My music soul is crushed, but my heart is probably better off.