The Person Who Will Love You

melissadishes:

I honestly struggled with what I would write about July 29. And then this appeared in my feed. I couldn’t have written it better myself.

Originally posted on Positive Outlooks Blog:

In your lifetime you will find and meet one person who will love you more than anybody you have ever known and will know. They will love you with every bit of energy and soul. They will sacrifice, surrender and give so much that it scares you. Someday you’ll know who that is. Sometimes people realize who it was.  — Unknown

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Doozy of a week

I knew leading into last week was going to be rough.  My boss was going to be out of town for a week and a half and I was in charge, in addition to the 1001 things I had to do.

Sunday-my cats weren’t having any part of the foster kittens anymore.  This included food protests. I returned the kittens to their foster mommy, who was expecting them back already anyhow.  I really wanted to give her another week of a break, but my kitties needed a break from the babies.

Monday-I honestly don’t remember much of Monday, except for having to deal with a very sensitive issue outside of work.  I tried to handle it the best I could.  It had been causing me stress for months, especially in the last month.  It wasn’t easy or pleasant and I hated that I had to do it.

Tuesday-Was a LONG day. Text from dad that mom’s Dr appt turned into a go to the hospital appt, to lets do an EKG, to she’s admitted.  WHAT?!?!  Yes, they kept her because they wanted an angiogram Wednesday afternoon.

I had to take care of LUNA that night and a meeting, which was only made easier because ODB is super smart and was able to walk me through what everything meant and exactly what mom was going to have happen.  Only thing that would have made me feel even better was him here to console me.

Wednesday- Worked a very hectic half day.  Sister and I jumped in the car, made a pit stop at Buccee’s to pick up some cheer-me-ups for mom, and made our way.  We didn’t tell her we were coming.  Surprise!  We got there about 1.5 hours before they took her away.  She was back pretty quickly.  They didn’t put any stints in.  She has to be on a few medications through to try to handle everything. She had to lie down for 3 hours after her procedure.  We went to ate and brought her food back.  Dad and sister thought mexican food was a good idea.  Dr said she could eat whatever she wanted, and my family obeyed that.  Enchiladas, rice and beans, isn’t exactly my idea of heart patient food.  

She had to stay overnight.  Sister and I went home.

Thursday-I was working on almost no sleep now.  I hadn’t been sleeping anyhow before the mom thing and that just piled on top of all of the other stress.  Hectic day at work and then had to take Chanel to the vet.  She still wasn’t eating well and she was bony.  I feared the worst.  All week I had been crying at night over it.  I even researched pet crematoriums because I was certain she was dying.  On the way home from work to get her, I had an absolute meltdown on the freeway, sobbing over my poor little kitty.  I was also upset that ODB wasn’t here to help me deal with whatever I was going to be told.

Thank God she’s ok.  Vet said it was probably still stress from the kittens, but she had a tiny little kidney elevation.  I needed to make her drink more water and eat low protein food.  Apparently her love of freshly cooked meat and me trying to make her gain weight in the last year was NOT a good idea.  So I was sent home with a very tiny bag of catfood which wasn’t cheap.  Whatever it takes to make her better.

Friday-Another long day at work, but at least I did get away at lunch for a swim.  I am fairly disappointed with my swimming skills and I know if ODB was around more, I would be able to practice with an expert coach more often.  ODB finally told me after my swim that I needed to chill the hell out and give myself a break.  He pointed out everything I had been through during the week and why I needed to cut myself some slack.  He’s a smart one I tell you!

After work, sister and I headed home for mom’s birthday.  I had planned on celebrating with her next weekend, but with everything that happened last week, she needed the cheer up.

Weekend-Greenfest was this weekend and I didn’t expect to feel the emotions I did.  I quit enjoying the Saturday night GF party years ago.  I never was much into partying until you pass out.  I did miss the day time stuff.   I did miss the company.  And the river.  And seeing people.  But the other half of me worried about how I would be treated if I showed up, because while I didn’t do anything wrong, I am an ex.  Exes always get the bad rap.  Even though we were both single when we first started going to GW and GF parties, I am sure things really wouldn’t be the same.  That’s ok.  That is another phase in my life that has passed.  All of  that didn’t really matter anyhow, because I was not in my own car, and at the mercy of my sister.

Speaking of phases, I made the comment on Saturday, I feel like I am stuck between my former life and the one that I want.  I don’t much like being stuck.

I am looking forward to this week being a little kinder to my heart and my mind. 

LOVE Is Stronger Than Anything

melissadishes:

I share words with ODB everyday (ok maybe I missed a few). My words are usually quotes I see online that I save to share with him.

There were my words for today. The last year has been a ton of joy, but with it comes pain. And most importantly love.

I wish love didn’t hurt as much as it does currently. I look forward to a “happily ever after”.

Originally posted on Positive Outlooks Blog:

Those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. LOVE is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.  —  Henri J.M. Nouwen

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Getting back on the rails

It was a rough week for me.   Stress has increased.   Stress is bad bad bad for me.  Work, extracurriculars, personal life all had a few hiccups.

There was a point last week when the stress got to be so bad, someone confirmed my stress bloat.  He said I looked at least 6 months pregnant.  This lasted for almost 3 days.   The stress bloat has since gone away, thank goodness.    Don’t worry, that someone is ODB, and I am glad that he can be honest with me like that.  I wish he was here all of the time, I think I would handle stress a lot different.  He grounds me.

I had to send the foster kittens home today.  I told their rescuer that I would keep them another week to give her a break, but it was beginning to really stress out my 2 cats.  So much so, they quit eating.   All signs of kittens are now erased, hopefully my girls will be happy now.

Today was the first time I’ve menu planned in writing in months.  I can’t remember the last time I did.  Lately I’ve just been grabbing random healthy foods and just combining them as needed.  It works, but it’s not my norm.  I did make a recipe for last week’s lunches, which was great, but I was off track on dinner.  Not health wise, just organizationally.

So I’m hoping this week will be better in all areas.  Breakfasts and lunches are made and packed as always.  Boss is on vacation, so work stress will probably be elevated, I just need to make sure I have a good handle on it.

I am back to AutoImmune Paleo tomorrow.  I need to tough it out strictly for at least 30 days.  AIP makes Dr. L’s protocol easier too.   One of my Austin gals was told to do Whole 30 by her Dr., so I told her I would be her accountability buddy!  AIP is more strict, but the accountability is what I need.  I know it makes me feel better.  Stacy Toth from Paleo Parents posted last week that she healed her stomach so much, she was able to successfully reintroduce dairy!   That’s not a near future goal of mine, but long term that could be good!

Looking forward to starting my week off right :-)

A Lesson And A Gift Forever

melissadishes:

Perfect words for more than one area of life right now :-)

Originally posted on Positive Outlooks Blog:

Maybe some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn. And that’s why they’re here. You’ll have that gift forever. Danielle Steele, The Gift

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